Monday, August 17, 2009

Dating Update: Epic Fail

I gave dating a shot and I've already given up on it.

Two first dates in June and two second dates in July.

But when they asked for third dates, I felt obligated to acknowledge to them that I wasn't really up to dating after all.

In Dr. Phil parlance, I'm not emotionally available, but that's not something within my control, so I just have to accept it until I feel ready for more.

Besides, it just isn't fair to go out with guys who might become genuinely interested in me.

And while you'd think that telling them this would discourage their interest, not so much (one kindly offered to be my rebound boy, which would not have been fair to him).

So, despite having learned the lesson that it's far better to head this kind of thing off at the pass rather than having to deal with it later, I still felt bad last night at shutting down what seemed like a really nice guy.

I went to the National to see White Rabbits (who were beyond awesome with their energy, their switching of instruments and the sheer amount of sound that six musicians can produce. Oh, yes, and I love it when a band has multiple drummers.) and Fiery Furnaces (not everyone's cup of tea, as evidenced by the small crowd, but intriguing) and found myself approached by a guy also at the show alone.

He introduced himself and we got to talking music and the economy and upcoming shows.

It was nice to have someone to share the experience with, until near the end when he asked about getting together again soon.

I was straight up honest about being recently out of a long-term relationship and just not over it yet.

He was polite and understanding about it, but clearly disappointed, which made me feel rude and a little unkind.

On the other hand, why waste two dates and his time?

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