Thursday, August 26, 2010

Eat! Look! Stay Away!

Do people who walk on treadmills realize the great stuff they miss by not hitting the streets?

Like a guy waiting at the bus stop wearing a t-shirt that instructed: "Take your vitamin every day. It's called a STEAK!" Can't you just hear the self-righteousness implied in that statement? It would have been so much better if the guy in it had been a skinny little sprout-eating vegan wearing it for ironic reasons, but judging by the guy's girth, I think he meant it.

Walking down one block of Broad, I saw a guy approaching his truck notice me. He stared. Had I grown two heads? He went to open the door of his truck and fumbled because he was still looking at me and not the lock. He dropped his clipboard and stared some more. As I walked by him, I straight-up asked, "Did you get a good look?" Without the slightest evidence of embarrassment, he smiled and said, "Yea, I did. Thanks!"

But today's highlight was a handwritten sign on the door of Velocity Comics that was as much a statement of philosophy as a warning: "No soliciting! I am ridiculously happy with my current whatever!" If they'd been open, I'd have gone in to meet the sign-writer. Since I don't get solicitors because I live on the second floor of a locked building, there's no point in a sign like that for me.

But just for the record, I am ridiculously happy with my current whatevers, too. My only complaint would be the one whatever absent from my life. Should I ever get it, my ridicuous happiness will be complete. I might even put up a sign.


  1. I run on the treadmills at the downtown Y that face outward onto Franklin Street. It's my favorite thing because a) I don't sweat (as much); b) watching the people who pass by is wonderful entertainment and distraction; and c) watching people attempt to parallel pump and instead play bumper cars then leave like nothing happened just amazes me every time.

    So I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I think it really depends on the view your treadmill can afford.


  2. Excellent point! I hadn't considered that a great view might make all the difference.