Fun Done Well

My Dad's nickname for me growing up was Camille because I tended to be a tad, shall we say, melodramatic as a child.

In spite of that proclivity, when my sixth grade class decided to put on a play, I was chosen for student director, meaning no actual stage time.

My sophomore year in college, an older friend decided to make a movie and enlisted me for the female lead, mainly, I think, because he wanted to date me.

Watching the premiere of his film at a party with 75 people I knew, all I could think was how silly he'd been to put his hormones ahead of choosing someone with talent.

So I haven't exactly had an illustrious life on the wicked stage.

Ah, but Billy Christopher Maupin has and his show at Richmond Triangle Players tonight, "(My) Life Upon the Wicked Stage" took us through a good part of that wickedness.

Coming onstage looking handsome and barefoot in a red shirt, jeans and fresh haircut, he opened up to a full house with the appropriate "Cabaret."

He talked about the roles he hadn't gotten to play and the songs he hadn't gotten to sing.

So while he played a Protean in "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum," he sang lead Pseudolus' song, "Free."

We heard a funny story about his move to NYC ("I was going on ten auditions a week") where he auditioned for "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" by singing "Not A Day Goes By" in the style of Huck Finn.

"Did I mention I got the job?" he smirked.

Then he was lured back by Richmond, like so many others before and after him, where he tried out for a Barksdale production of "Into the Woods," hoping desperately to play Jack.

"I got the role of Rapunzel's prince, but tonight this is my show, so I'm gonna do Jack's song," he grinned, beginning "Giants in the Sky."

Three quarters of the way through, he got a look on his face and sang, "I lost my place," but pianist Susan chimed in with, "The fun is done" and he picked up seamlessly.

That's a pro.

The humor kept up when he sang a song from a play called "Mr. Marmalade," in which a suitcase of sex toys spills onstage, including the centerpiece of the collection, the Super Cock 9 with suction cup.

During one performance, when the suction cup fell out, it adhered to the stage fully erect for the duration of the song, so for tonight's rendition, BC held his fisted arm in front of his face as he sang "La Vie en Rose," clearly a tribute to the magnificence of the Super Cock 9.

This is why he's an actor and I'm not.

For a reading from "Greater Tuna," the only play he said he ever got fired from, he called up fellow thespian Joe Inscoe (who immediately took his shoes off) so they could both play multiple characters.

Joe noted that they hadn't had much practice, dryly observing, "This is gonna be real spontaneous, just like we rehearsed."

The hysterical scene covered used weapons, dire weather forecasts and the pet of the week segment trying to find a home for Yippy, a terrier-chihuahua mix played to deadpan perfection by Joe, eliciting the observation that, "We at the Humane Society have had problems giving away small, shrill animals."

And deservedly so.

BC went on to talk about roles he'd loved to play like Miss Hannigan in "Annie" and Mama Morton in "Chicago," enthusiastically singing "When You're Good to Mama" crouched down in the faces of the people in the front row.

We were sent off to intermission with the instruction," You can go get a drink from Evan...or five," Evan being the talented actor/bartender who's heading off to the Big Apple this summer but hopefully not before he sings "Hit Me Baby One More Time" a few more times in Richmond.

During intermission, BC found a long, curly blond wig, the perfect accessory to wear to sing "My Life Upon the Wicked Stage," pushing the curly bangs out of his eyes as he did so.

Afterwards, he passed the wig on to guitarist Tristan who removed his hat and tried it for a minute before deciding he was more of a hat guy.

Not every man can pull off a full-length blond wig.

Next up, BC got talking about the gender-reversed series he'd begun a few years back and one I know well because I try never to miss an opportunity to see a stage filled with women doing Shakespeare.

"Hamlet, "Midsummer Night's Dream," "Much Ado About Nothing," "Coriolanus," I've seen his productions of them all and continue to keep my fingers crossed that he'll follow through on doing all of Will's work with estrogen subbing for testosterone.

As he talked about the project, actor Molly Hood strolled by chatting away on her cell phone and the two of them ricocheted off into a Beatrice and Benedick exchange, gender-reversed of course.

Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted. And I would I could find in my heart I had not a hard heart, for truly I love none. 

A dear happiness to woman.They else would have been troubled by a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood I am of your humor for that. I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

This evening just kept getting better and better.

Talking about his time spent going to Campbellsville University, "the small, Baptist, scary place...where I came out," BC talked about deciding to audition for one last play before transferring to another school.

Cue next song.

After getting someone capable to do it for him, he had "I Dream a Dream" transposed to another key he could sing in and got the part. I guess he showed them.

By the time he was 25, he said he'd scratched the role of Matt in "The Fantasticks" off his list, not because he'd done it, but because he was too old to play a 19-year old.

But when upstart theater company Cadence decided to stage it, of course he had to audition, getting the role he'd coveted at last, at 30, but only after the director asked how he felt about being slammed against a wall by a 6'4" man every night.

"I dream of it," BC recalled, before singing "I Can See It" with Russell, who'd also been in the production and sang most of his part from the audience, arriving onstage for the ending and a kiss on top of BC's head.

Tonight's star gave us a little of the dreadful Styx song "Sailing" before redeeming himself with "I'd Rather Be Sailing" from "A New Brain."

"Now comes the corny part," he warned and took off with, "No Business Like Show Business," with all kinds of actors standing up in front of their seats and singing along.

The line, "There's no people like show people," got spontaneous applause, no surprise given the crowd's makeup of actors, directors and theater-goers.

That, of course, was the big finale and got a standing ovation but the audience insisted on one last song.

"I don't have anything else new," he said, smiling widely, "I can do 'I Dream a Dream' in the original key."

Which he did - beautifully- and took his leave of the wicked stage.

That's the mark of a professional.

If only I'd had the wisdom to end my stage career in 6th grade, there'd be no damning celluloid evidence today.

Thank goodness the people who really do have talent keep plugging away.

Even when it means singing to the Super Cock 9 with suction cup.