Broadly Appetizing

Broad Appetit is the new Watermelon Festival.

And by that, I mean in the same way that the Watermelon Fest is guaranteed to be a disgustingly hot day in August, Broad Appetit requires an ungodly hot and sunny day in June.

Which would be fine if I were on my shaded balcony but less fine walking the asphalt of Broad Street.

But how can I ignore a food festival two blocks from my house?

What I can do is go early before massive body heat is added to the existing conditions.

The unwritten rule is that I do one lap around before buying any food.

We call this the "scoping out" part.

My eye was caught by Poor Georgie's Bakery because I saw something blue.

It turned out to be blue velvet cake, but then I noticed divorce cake...made with bittersweet chocolate.

Humor and heat.

I stopped at Field of Dreams' Farm when I saw jars of jam.

Here was a cheerleader for local farmers, a guy who gathers up what farmers have and brings it in to the city to sell five days a week.

He insisted I taste one of his farm-ripe peaches, insisting that it was ripe even though it didn't feel like it.

I took a bite and was surprised at how pure the peach taste was.

But, because I am allergic to peaches, I handed off the rest of it to a guy standing next to me admiring Cumberland County squash.

And I bought a quart of apple butter, to be picked up later.

Stopped cold by the couple in front of me at the Mama J's Kitchen booth, I listened as she read the offerings, a $3 plate, a $5 plate and finally a $7 plate.

Catfish nuggets, three sides and dessert for $7, she read to him.

Why didn't they just put that one at the top of the chalkboard, I asked to much laughter.

"Seriously," the woman said. "Who wouldn't want it all?"

I made it 2/3 of the way around the loop before caving and buying food.

The game changer was Chez Foushee's boudin balls, dirty rice mixed with pulled pork and deep fried with a white remoulade.

I was right to break my rule because they were out of this world.

It was getting uncomfortably hot by then unless you were in the shade, so I stopped by Balliceaux to get one of mixologist's Sean's Carny Coolers.

May have been the first time he's ever handed me something non-alcoholic.

The cooler was made from watermelon and lime and served with jalapeno cotton candy, which added a bit of heat at the end of the refreshing but not sweet drink.

At Magpie's booth, I joined the line for smoked crab with jalapeno oil and corn nuts.

Amour was offering a three-course delight of foie gras creme brulee, a vegetable creme brulee with coconut on top and chocolate sea salt cream brulee.

Holy cow.

Lehja's line was long but on my second pass slightly shorter, so I got sea bass with mango salad and marveled at the generous portion.

Although I'd come alone, friends had hoped to find me ("I will look for your legs - might be easier to recognize you") and hook up for some comparative eating, but I never ran into them.

But I did run into a friend and her hound (about to share her catfish nuggets with him), a friend and his be-hatted main squeeze ("I saw you honk at the girl making the illegal U-turn on Grove the other day") and a woman whose past was awkwardly entangled with mine long ago and whom I hadn't seen in probably seven years.

After asking if I could hug her, we chatted for far longer than either of us would have probably expected.

It was one of those satisfyingly karmic moments when old wrongs are righted and it made my day.

After collecting my apple butter from the farmer, I headed back towards home.

A woman in front of me turned to her friends, all eating as they walked.

"This is one of those times I love Richmond," she said, still chewing.

Get on board, ladies.

For me, Broad Appetit is yet another one of those times I love Richmond.

It's as lovable every day as you want it to be.