Saturday, December 17, 2011

All is Calm, All is Bright

If you know me, you probably know I hate to shop.

But at this time of year, shopping is as de rigueur as endless holiday parties but far less enjoyable.

So off I went to buy seasonal things because that's what our culture dictates.

It was as I was making my way around Target that I was reminded of the entertainment value of shopping when it's busy.

It didn't help that today is supposedly the busiest shopping day of the holiday season.

A young couple near the small appliances caught my eye. They were facing away from me so I didn't hear what he suggested.

Pivoting on her hell and rolling her eyes, she said, "That's so uninspired!" and walked away from him.

To no one in particular, he mumbled, "Apologies for failing" and took off after her.

In the men's department, I overheard a little boy, maybe five years old, insistently tell his dad that he should get some Batman underwear.

"I don't need those," the dad told his progeny. "I'm already a superhero."

At that moment, I caught the Dad's eye and he smiled a little sheepishly, walking on.

Behind him, the little boy was stunned. "Wait, Daddy, you're a superhero?" he asked taking off after SuperDad.

Not to worry, it's kids who aren't supposed to lie at this time of year.

While looking at cards near the gift wrap section, a harried-looking woman and her husband walked up with an overfull cart.

She glanced at the gift bag selection and started ranting at him because they didn't have any big enough for her needs.

Having just a few moments earlier noticed humongous gift bags a few aisles away, I walked up to her and calmly told her about them.

I could see her blood pressure dropping as she heard what I was saying; I pointed and she sprinted.

Her husband, no longer the target of her wrath, mouthed a quiet "thank you" at me and followed after.

Above all the bustle, it was a little tough to hear any hint of silver bells.

Actually, what came to mind was Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band's "Christmas at K-Mart" without the mood ring counter.

Like I said, it's not just shopping. That's entertainment.


  1. I haven't heard Root Boy this year. No wonder I'm not sufficiently in the Holiday Spirit.

  2. I should have known you would appreciate the reference!