Thanksgiving in 3-D

Why do sports when you can do dead bodies?

Which is to say that once the recently-killed Farm to Family turkey was stuffed with pig and in the oven, it was time to go to the VMFA.

Today seemed like an ideal day to catch "Mummy: Secrets of the Tomb," on loan from the British Museum, without dealing with buses of school children or hordes of weekend crowds.

In a nice touch, the first part of the exhibit is a short film requiring 3-D glasses to view. I chose stylish blue for mine.

Once we were ushered in and took our seats, the guy sitting next to me stood up and took a picture of his entire family wearing their 3-D glasses, all six of them.

"Dad, sit down, please!" the teen-aged daughter hissed in mortification.

The film was compelling, showing the layers of mummification and even images of the inside of the body (organs removed in preparation for the afterlife) of an Egyptian priest.

Patrick Stewart did the narration in his impeccably accented voice, noting as the 3-D camera scanned the pelvic region that the sex of the mummy was clearly male,

Yes, we saw what he meant but his tone was almost smarmy when he said it.

When the film ended, the audience of maybe 40 descended on the exhibit and all its riches.

Making my way around the galleries fascinated by the more than a hundred objects, I was amazed to see that after the initial crush of people, 90% of them left for the gift shop within twenty minutes.

As in done. Finished. Seen all the 3,000-year old bodies and artifacts they cared to. Got any Egyptian king rubber ducks (they did)?

But that's just an observation, not a complaint. It left the galleries less crowded to move around and see things without waiting behind others.

A massive sarcophagus lid made of granite stood upright and had the face of the dead man whose coffin it had been.

It had such presence; surely the intention was to ensure the man's entry to the Afterlife.

Colors were remarkably intact, like on a mummy mask with a gold face and the most beautiful blue "hair" panted of rare lapis lazuli.

A cat mummy with a tiny head held a kitten that barely took up any of the interior space, making me wonder why this kitten deserved such a large mummy.

The film didn't cover that.

I'm not much of a gift shop person, but in walking through, I did notice how many items were made in Egypt, which was satisfying on some level.

As was the entire exhibit, which demonstrated the enormous role of death and afterlife in Egyptian culture, so different from ours.

After an excellent turkey dinner, a walk was in order, followed by dessert of pumpkin mousse,

The delicately spiced mousse was the ideal ending because it wasn't too sweet.

On the other hand, the three cups of cream that went into it meant it only tasted lighter than pecan pie.

And to think that on that first Thanksgiving, each person's plate contained about 500 calories. We've come a long, disgusting way, baby.

My evening ended with stopping by a friend's feast for a glass of wine and to hear her annual Thanksgiving mix, which never fails to delight with its song choices.

Mellencamp, Finn brothers, Grass Roots, Hall and Oates. Obscure one-hit wonders like "Magic" by Pilot.

"Hold Me Now" came on and the twenty-something couple next to me began singing the chorus.

I made a comment about how '80s it sounded and they asked who the band was.

"It's the Thompson Twins," I told them. It rang a bell for neither of them, although they seemed glad to finally know who'd done it.

"But they weren't really twins," I said, stating the obvious.

"Awww," she said like I'd burst her '80s bubble.

Luckily '80s music, like Egyptian priests, has been preserved for future generations to come.

Let's just hope there's no 3-D Thompson Twins movie in our future.

"Dad, their haircuts are scaring me!" some teenager will hiss.

There are limits to what's worth donning cardboard glasses for.