These Clothes are Staying On

I know I get cold more easily than 98% of the population.

When I go in a restaurant and the hostess points out the coat rack, I smile politely and keep my coat.

A musician friend posted a picture of me at a show at the Camel and I have a sweater across my legs and my big muffler still on; the people around me are dressed normally.

Apparently I have no blood.

Even so, it's cold outside today by anyone's estimation.

There's a wind advisory, it's gusting to 30 mph and it feels like 20 degrees.

Going out to walk the dog, I was bundled up like a kid in a snowsuit, arms akimbo, scarf covering half my face.

And here's a guy on my street shoveling snow in a short-sleeved T-shirt.

I couldn't stop myself. "You have to be cold, right?" I asked with a smile.

He looks at me with dead eyes, no expression and says, "It's not cold out here."

Well, okay then, the beagle and I will just move along.

Around the corner, we see a guy clearing off his car wearing shorts and no socks.

As he flings the snow, I see a flurry hit his bare legs. I cringe for him and ask why he's wearing shorts.

"All my jeans are dirty," he explains. Because, you know, clean clothes are essential for snow removal.

We did talk to one halfway sane soul who was dressed appropriately for the snow.

A guy biking down the street said hi and mentioned how challenging it was biking in this mess.

I offered my empathy for his situation, but he laughed it off. "I got my snow tires on, sweet baby," he assured me. "I'm good."

Me, I'm cold out there with that wind blowing over the ice and snow.

Even with four layers on top, a coat, two layers on bottom, two pairs of socks and two pairs of gloves, it's not enough.

 My first choice for relief would be shared body heat.

Barring that, I'm at least going to spend the afternoon inside and away from this wind.

And I'll take off the coat and gloves, but the rest stays on.

Luckily, no one will be taking a picture of me to post this time.