Texas de Brazil for The Beginner

A friend once expressed surprise when he learned that I go to Target.

Seems he couldn't imagine me as part of the Target masses, but, really, who isn't a part of that club at least occasionally?

No telling what his response will be when he hears that I went to a West End restaurant tonight; and not just surprised because of the location, but because it was a chain.

Friends had invited me to join them, with the caveat,"You'd better put on your A carnivore game."

That's right, we went to Texas de Brazil at Regency Square. (!)

I'm sure plenty of people have experienced this excess of protein palace, but it was all new to me.

The dining room was over the top, the number of servers who stopped by our table was excessive and the paper hand towels in the bathrooms had the name and logo on them.

Oh, yes, and there was an overwhelming amount of meat offered to us repeatedly.

I tasted what I could: leg of lamb, filet mignon wrapped in bacon, Brazilian sausage, a lamb chop, and Cordeiro so bloody rare as to be carpaccio (my favorite hunk o' meat of the evening actually).

The red light/green light system of announcing your meat lust seemed glutton-like to a neophyte like me, but apparently that's how it's done.

Although I began with a huge plate of greens and veggies so as to aid the digestion of my mega-meat meal, I feel certain that my arteries noticeably narrowed during our three hours there.

I tried to save my heart with red wine, namely the 2005 Vale dos Vinhedos Mioto Reserva Cabernet Sauvignon, but even Brazilian wine couldn't offset so much animal flesh.

Texas de Brazil, I am not worthy.

Or, more accurately, I just don't think you're my type.