Size Does Matter

Boy, rich people really do live differently than you and me.

Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not the one with the rich friends who bought a house on Monument Avenue. Sure, I've met them before and they both liked me enough to suggest more get-togethers, but my invitation for a tour was courtesy of a go-between.

As far as I'm concerned, the best rich people are the ones with a sense of humor and these two have it in spades. You walk in and you're greeted by a large metal sculpture of a dragon in the foyer. Two of the bathroom sinks sport full-color Winnie the Pooh faucets and spigots. A life-size pink nude gazes out over august Monument Avenue.

Like its cohorts, the house itself is massive, with the owners referring to the HVAC  equipment area as "Three Mile Island" because the units are so enormous, nearly as tall as the privacy fence. The mahogany hot tub sits in the sunniest of sunrooms overlooking the back yard. Fortunately, it fits three and I've already been invited back to experience it.

Plenty of kitchens have an island, but theirs is more of a full-fledged U-shaped marble bar that seats eight and faces the magnificently-appointed kitchen, where smiling-faced pottery grins down from upper cabinets. Not that much has to be stored in them since there's also a pantry and a storeroom just off the kitchen.

Naturally I rode the elevator (wouldn't you?), used the bathroom with the gorgeously pink cabinetry, and climbed the stairs under the impressively curved ceiling to the third floor with its panoramic vistas.

Our hostess showed off her spacious office with its banks of windows and a view of one of the ten great streets in the country (so says the American Planning Association). The only change I'd make is facing my desk toward, not away, from that view. Or is she just smarter than me in that respect?

For some personal perspective, each of their personal clothes closets are bigger than my kitchen. Think about that. I did.

Like me, the she-owner has a passion for vibrant color in every room and hallway. I can't imagine choosing to live in a space with white walls, although I know some people do, although whether due to preference, frugality or laziness, I'm not certain. From purples to sea blues to hot pink, her colors were dazzling.

When her husband made a request for red and she couldn't find an appropriate room for it, she wound up painting a massive gold-framed mirror in the hallway red to appease him. Of course it looks majestic.

Did I mention the dog walk, a balcony that stretches the length of the house and then some to accommodate canine outdoor needs? Or that a life-size figure of Scooby Doo sits sentry in a front window?

Making our way around the house to ogle walk-through showers, a game room, and a clubby viewing room, I marveled that this extravagant space had for a time been converted into a doctor's office before they'd had it restored to its original opulent splendor.

But I shouldn't have been surprised. On the same block is the house where my gynecologist used to practice. When I'd mentioned that to my friend, she was delighted, sure that nothing would please the new owners more than hearing that I'd exposed my naughty bits in their now-house.

Frankly, I was a tad disappointed about that part myself. A plaque acknowledging my open legs would have been just the kind of offbeat thing that would've appealed to these two. Come on, there's a full-size genie in the dining room.

When it comes to living humorously and colorfully, apparently I've got more in common with certain rich people than I had any idea.

Who'd have thought?