Bring on the Dogs

It's been a good week for me and porn.

First there was "Lovelace" and today there was En Su Boca.

Foto Boy and I ran the gauntlet of Redskins Training camp to make it over to the Boulevard and eat in the former porn shop.

I'd heard enough crusty jokes to eschew interior dining for the spacious patio.

That and the temperature was far nicer outside than in.

Nothing could completely make you forget the noisy traffic or worn-looking storefronts across the street, but the high wooden fence at least mitigated them somewhat.

Also helping were the garden, tiki torches and window boxes that filled the space.

Looking at the menu, the winner for best porn-related name was the bacon-wrapped big wiener, so I asked our server about it.

"I love it," she exclaimed. "I had a few drinks after work and it was the perfect thing to keep me from getting drunk."

High praise, indeed.

I inquired about the bolillo roll it came on and she said they split the roll and tucked the dog inside.

Her other recommendation was the carne asada burrito so FB got that.

A bit later, our server came back and asked if we'd left our dog in the VW in the parking lot.

We figured she had concerns about the heat of the car, but, no, actually she just wanted the owner to know that their patio is pet-friendly and invite the dog in.

Given how few RVA patios welcome man's best friend, we were impressed with this.

But no, it wasn't our dog.

She left us to our discussion of moods, friends with benefits and cocooning and while the two of us had plenty to talk about, eventually it became clear that our food was not forthcoming.

People who'd arrived after us were now eating.

When she did come back, it was with a pained look to say that the kitchen was out of bolillo rolls and did I still want it without it?

Hmmm.

Once you've got your sights set on a big wiener, it's hard to settle for anything else so I agreed to having it on a tortilla, which sounded slightly more appealing than naked, the other option she offered.

It came covered in drunken beans (cooked in beer), lime mayo and onions with a tiny little Key lime half on the side.

All I can say is that a big wiener really doesn't belong on a tortilla, nor should bacon be cooked to the point of shattering, at least in my opinion.

I took a bite of FB's burrito, leaving a lipstick print on it, much to his amusement, and finding it, well, pretty safe.

Two orders of chicken wings al pastor landed at two tables nearby and I wondered if they knew something we didn't.

Our server returned to clear our dishes, noting that much of my tortilla remained and sweetly offered to give me a popsicle to compensate for the missing bolillo.

Who am I to turn down a free popsicle, especially one hand-made by La Michocana over on Midlothian Turnpike?

The large white bar was made of frozen yogurt and full of fruit- cherries, kiwi, grapes, strawberries, peach- with a crooked stick coming out of the bottom, adding to its charm.

Once it softened, the combination of sweet yogurt and all that fruit got two thumbs up from us.

And what could be more appropriate than finishing our meal in a former porn shop licking and sucking?

The lesson here? A big wiener only takes you so far.