Pink, Bubbly and Unplucked

I got to experience an internet date unfolding for the first time.

It happened at Secco and there was a fair amount of Gruber Zweigelt Punkt Genau Sparkling Rose involved on my part, but it's such a beautiful mouthful of bubbles, acidity and berries that it was hard to say no.

I love the wine list's description that it's a "guiltless two-bottle indulgence." With the right date absolutely it would be.

A friend spotted me and came over to chat; it was then that I learned that the couple at the end of the bar was on their first internet-generated date. How she gleaned her information I didn't ask.

Even without the forewarning, though, I'd have guessed it as a first date and one not going particularly well. He continually leaned in (body language is very telling) and she'd always lean back, away from him.

As they awkwardly drank for several hours, my friend saying that it was a telling sign that food was not being ordered, the girl's posture stayed as rigid and stiff as if she were at a job interview.

To the guy's credit, he kept trying, smiling and making extensive eye contact. He seemed to be following all the first date recommendations for success despite his obvious lack of results.

She, on the other hand, seemed unimpressive. "Look at how over-plucked her eyebrows are," my friend pointed out.

And while it was definitely true, I question how many guys notice, much less care about such a thing.

My brows are unplucked and I wasn't out on a date, so she was already doing better than me.

Back at our end of the bar, we got hungry before they did, and started with the addicting roasted spiced almonds with sea salt. Before long, we also required a massive meat and cheese plate.

The Delice de Borgogne was a buttery triple creme, the Comte nutty and firm and the Cabecou the standout. It was gooey, goaty and gorgeous and positively irresistible.

And because cheese calls out for meat, we also had some of Olli's over-the-top meats: the prosciutto and the salametto.

Olli, you make my hear flutter (and probably my arteries harden, but so what?).

Back at the dating ranch, the couple finally ordered food and ate it with no obvious signs of pleasure. It was tough to guess why she stayed, much less him.

I say that as one who has exhibited less-than-ladylike first date behavior.

Back in 1999,  I had a date that so bored me that I excused myself to go to the ladies' room and exited right out of the back door of a not-to-be-named Fan bar. I would handle it better today.

Another time, on a first date in 2002, my date casually informed me that he didn't like strong-flavored cheeses.

Although I was ready to cut bait at that moment, I hung on through the meal before explaining our differences and leaving.

When they finally left, we still had no idea what the chances were for a second date.

My guess would be no, but perhaps she's just the type who can't show pleasure in someone's company.

Chalk it up to age, but I'm much more obvious. If I'm attracted to you, there will be no doubt in your mind.

If I like you, I'll be the one draping myself over your lap while leaning into you and talking. And, by the way, that's with or without the two-bottle indulgence.

Even so, I'm not going to pluck my eyebrows for anyone, although that's probably why she was on a date and I wasn't.

Someday I'll get the hang of this.