Coveting the Unicorn

I walked downstairs to leave my apartment this evening and discovered an orchid perched atop my mailbox.

There was no card or note to indicate where it came from.

It's a beautiful pink color, much like a lot of the wine I've been drinking this weekend, and I have no clue who left it.

It must be a birthday present, right?

Yesterday I got home from the house music show, here, to unexpectedly find a shiny purple bag containing wine and a CD on my front porch.

That time, there was a card, so I at least knew the source of the obviously-chosen-for-me gifts.

Most of the people who know me shy away from giving me music, afraid that I'll have it or it won't be to my odd taste.

This was spot on, as was the wine choice. Definitely a birthday present.

Last night at my birthday soiree, one of my favorite couples gave me a-- wait for it --shellacked wooden unicorn-head clock.

It is the most impressive piece of heavily-plasticized wood designed for telling time that anyone there had ever seen.

I kept it close to me all night because I knew that others were coveting it.

If you saw it, you'd understand what I'm saying.

And this evening I gave myself a birthday gift.

A friend has been telling me about the chair massages they do at Globehopper Coffee on Mondays between 5 and 8:00 for $1 a minute.

After a solid four nights of birthday debauchery, I had some girl parts that were a bit knotted, so I placed myself in the capable hands of Margo and in front of god and Globehopper, melted into that chair to be pummeled.

It's funny about presents.

I didn't need a single thing I was given for my birthday, but they were all stuff that I love: music, wine, chocolate, flowers.

Wait, let me correct that.

I needed that shellacked wooden unicorn-head clock.

My abode, and by default me, became infinitely cooler the moment I hung it.

That's a birthday gift that will keep on giving...with or without the AA battery.