O Come, All Ye Ham and Cheesers

I come when called.

So when the Ghost Light Afterparty summoned the masses with "O, Come, All Ye GLAPful," I was there in my shortest pink skirt, my sassiest lace tights and enough holiday cheer to choke a reindeer.

Hell, somebody's gotta be the audience for a room full of hams.

As the night wore on, there was also plenty of Christmas cheese.

Like a DMX-wannabe doing "Rudolph." Afterwards, Maggie noted, "That's a holiday treat I bet you weren't expecting."

Amen.

Georgia doing "All I Want for Christmas" in s high, squeaky voice with her two front teeth blacked out.

Inexplicably, someone had brought a holiday songbook like no other, with Christmas songs about Star Wars characters.

So, yes, we were treated to "What Can You Get a Wookie for Christmas?" and the classic "R2D2, We Wish You a Merry Christmas."

As someone observed, most of the people in the room weren't born when these songs were created.

I hope they all realize how fortunate that makes them.

But there were sublime holiday moments, too.

Joy and Duron dueted on a poignant "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

Ben playing piano and singing "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" magnificently, like he was singing for a date.

The cast of "A Child's Christmas in Wales" doing "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" with cello, guitar and two beautiful harmonizing female voices.

An exquisite "Silent Night" with only cello and piano.

Chris doing "The Christmas Song" a capella. Take that, Nat.

And, as always because it's the GLAP, serious comedy.

Like the interpretive dance break during "Let it Snow!"

Matt observing after sight-reading the wookie song, "I almost soiled myself when I sang, "Give him love and understanding."

Maggie's stellar rendition of Mel Blanc's "My Sombrero is Too Big."

And only at GLAP do you have a quartet not only looking up lyrics on their phones, but half the group doing the movie version and half doing the Broadway version, a fact they didn't realize until midway through the song.

But lest you get the impression that GLAP is just for drinking, raffle prizes and over-the-top performances, allow me to set you straight.

I pick up all kinds of salient information during my monthly five-hour stint at GLAP.

High praise from a friend who'd just seen "The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe" and is already planning to see it a second time.

Details of the renovated NU nightclub, complete with details of male and female go-go dancers, looped music and Wet Wednesdays.

A porn discussion with the praise, "All show, no grow and eight inches!"

Honestly, you can't glean this kind of information just anywhere. Or at least I can't.

And where else can I hear both Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" done by Gray without her trench coat and k.d. lang's "Love is Like a Cigarette" done by Starlet Night in fur-trimmed ankle boots?

It almost makes me want to lasso Santa, like Maggie sang. Or at the very least, choke him.

But I won't. Like a wookie, even Santa deserves love and understanding.

And probably a bourbon on the rocks to make him GLAP-ful.