It Was the Curve of the Red Pears

My life: random episode number 7,835.

Shopping at Kroger, nature calls.

I drop my basket near the vitamin aisle for safekeeping.

As I head to the restroom, I find myself behind a woman with a pained look on her face.

A male Kroger employee is coming out of the bathroom looking resigned, with his mop and bucket in tow.

The woman has apparently knocked and asked him to leave so she can come in.

When she sees me approach, she says, as if in explanation,"On a scale of one to ten, I'm a seven in needing to go."

It's all yours, I tell her.

When I exit, the first thing I see is a guy rifling through a basket exactly where I left mine.

As I get closer, I see it is my groceries he's touching.

That's my basket, I tell him, in case he's confused.

"You have really good looking stuff," he says looking sheepish and standing back up so he can scuttle away.

Really good looking stuff?

I look down at my basket, seeing a bag of spinach, a dozen eggs, some thick-cut bacon and a half dozen red pears and apples.

Good looking stuff?

When I mention it to the cashier when I check out, she raises an eyebrow.

"Is he a stalker or something?" she inquires.

Not that I know of. He just thought I had really good looking stuff.

All available for purchase, as far as I could tell.

"Have a good afternoon," she says, handing me my bag. "Watch out for weirdos."

It's a little tough while I'm using the facilities.