Crank It Up

It was a Hank Williams kind of night.

It started in the chilly dining room of Tio Pablo for beef tongue tacos and one of tonight's specials, pupusas of pork and cheese.

I gotta say, metal stools are a bitch in the winter time.

But it wasn't just the stools because everyone at the tables had their jackets on, too.

Luckily the chilies warmed things up (and, okay, made my nose run) and they were everywhere -in the red beans and Surry sausage, in the salsa, in the guacamole.

It sure is convenient to have a place like Tio Pablo so close to home.

Lately I've been faced with too many good choices for what to do on one evening, but tonight's choice was simple. It was Twangtown Thursday at Balliceaux and besides the usual variety of local twang, there was traveling twang. Walking in, organizer Chris grinned and said, "Welcome back!" a nod to this being my third show this week.

The show started with Matt Conner, a guy with a lot of long, curly hair and a guitar. He wasn't flashy ("My name's Matt and this is my first song") or afraid to be explicit ("I'm a little phlegmy").

How'd you manage to matter to me?

He announced the next song as, "This is for my mother. She's an old lady. She's stubborn."

All I can say is, good thing Mom wasn't here to hear that fabulous intro or Matt might have heard from her.

Sweet Fern came second and the duo of Josh and Allison is reliably entertaining, with both having talent to spare.

They coasted through songs by Marty Robbins, Johnny Cash and, yup, Hank Williams.

There were songs about hangings, jail and a tornado that killed thirteen children in a schoolhouse.

You know, everyday life.

Their set was short and followed by Josh lowering the mics and then having to drop to his knees to introduce Anna and Elizabeth.

The duo are passionate fans of Appalachian music, meaning fiddle-style music and haunting ballads, played on guitar or banjo and sometimes a capella.

After a few songs, they announced that they were going to show us a puppet show.

"Come up front and sit on the floor," Anna suggested, "Like kindergartners."

While I appreciated her invitation, I had a feeling that the floor was going to be about as warm as that metal stool at Tio Pablo, so instead I just sat on the back of the banquette for a better view.

They were showing an art form called a "crankie," meaning a fabric and paper scroll that was slowly turned by Anna as Elizabeth sang a song to tell the story.

It was about a weaver's body and the vividly colored images rolled along seamlessly as Elizabeth sang, "Death is sharper than a thorn."

Isn't it?

What is meaner than womankind?
The devil is meaner than womankind

I might want to take issue with that.

After the song ended, they said they made the scrolls on their sewing machine.

There was nothing to follow such a unique experience with other than Hank, so we got "Long Gone Lonesome Blues," with its suggestion of yodeling.

Another song was described as written in the '30s after the songwriter heard a railroad man singing it.

It was the epitome of Twangtown Thursday.

Sweet Fern returned to a far more attentive crowd and deservedly so since they were doing a song about the plight of the housewife.

Allison even played guitar for one song, not something she particularly enjoys doing, as evidenced by her handing it back to Josh like it had cooties.

"Take this devil box away," said the woman who likes her ukulele.

Putting on his best baby talk voice, Josh teased, "Aww, is it hurting your little fingers?"

Sweet Fern never disappoints in the stage banter department.

"Speaking of gauche, here's Allison Self," Josh said to lead them into the next song.

"Can you spell that, please?" Allison quipped back.

"Like Gucci," Josh said and got things going again.

Anna and Elizabeth took the hint and returned with their own brand of humor.

"What's the difference between an onion and a banjo?" Anna asked before handing the banjo to Elizabeth.

"No one cries when you play banjo!"

Musician humor, you gotta love it.

We were treated to another crankie, this one "The Ballad of Lord Bateman" and told to sit back down on the floor for it.

"I love that middle aged people are sitting Indian style or should I say "criss cross applesauce," as it's now known?" Anna asked. "More politically correct."

Criss cross applesauce? Are you kidding?

After the romance of Lord Bateman with his discarding of his wife for his long lost love, we moved back to heartbreak hotel.

"Here's a song to put a tear in your beer," Elizabeth said.

And damn is they didn't pull out Loretta Lynn's "You Ain't Woman Enough (To Take My Man)," a song we all need to hear every now and again.

Anna and Elizabeth showed they weren't local by asking if we knew Patsy Cline was a Virginian.

Do you seriously have to ask a Richmond audience that? The town where "Always, Patsy" plays like clockwork in one theater or another every other season?

That said, they covered "Fall to Pieces" with Allison doing superb backup vocals and Josh tearing it up on mandolin.

It was so compelling that a drunk guy in front of us stood up and began waving his ball cap in the air as if to conduct the duo as they played.

His friend finally pulled him down so we could see Sweet Fern belting out "Your Cheatin' Heart," making for our fourth Hank of the evening.

"Not that there are four Hanks," Josh clarified, probably to the same people who didn't know Patsy Cline was a Virginian.

You know, the gauche people.