Goes with Old Lace

I appear to be knee-deep in the age of Aquarius.

As in for the second time in three days, I was helping an Aquairian celebrate a birthday. Before that, my father.

Unlike the other night at Edo's, this was a multiple-stage production which began at Bistro 27.

It was a chance to meet the new bartender on his night off while enjoying some happy hour Cotes du Rhone and a plate of empanadillas.

My only complaint was the absence of music (due to someone's error in locking something) so I got a kick out of a conversation that led to music.

When I asked what he was listening to, he exploded. "Him! They're a Finnish band that plays romantic songs set to heavy metal."

Well, that was something I hadn't heard.

He corrected that by laying his phone down on the bar in front of me so I could hear Him.

Damned if it wasn't romantic songs set to heavy metal.

He asked where we were headed and we made him envious when he found out it was to Fountain Books for a reading, "King of Poisons: A History of Arsenic."

"Bet you learn something," he astutely observed.

I was counting on it.

At Fountain, the small group gathered in the children's section to hear John Parascabdola talk about arsenic, the poison of choice for so long.

This is a guy who taught a "History of Poisons" class at the University of Maryland, my alma mater.

"It was used to advance Nero to the throne," the author informed us."We're pretty sure the Borgias used it."

Hardly surprising.

When John spoke of people using poison to off spouses back in the days before divorce was used, his wife piped up from the back row, "Poison, it's cheaper than alimony!"

And good to accessorize with.

John was wearing a large ring with a stone that turned out to conceal a clasp that opened a poison compartment.

He opened it and mimed pouring poison in someone's drink, instead spilling Splenda (or so he said) all over himself and the floor.

Back in the cheap seats, his wife showed us her newly-acquired poison ring bought from the shop next door just today.

It was far lovelier than his, hers with a lavender gem and more delicate filigree work.

We heard about arsenic being used in the workplace and as medicine and of being sold as a tonic in the 18th century ("a panacea for all conditions")

At one time, it was also used as a treatment for syphilis, which brings us to John's last book, "Sex, Sin and Science: A History of Syphilis in America."

Seriously, it won a George Pendleton prize for 2009.

Can you think of a better way to celebrate a birthday than with a guy this interesting?

We came this close to inviting him and his wife to join our celebration, but feared it a tad forward.

We got talking about Italy and travel in general and John shared how he and his wife ("This is a second marriage for both of us") had gone away with family and found themselves assigned the only double bed.

While John and his wife were pleased with the bedding situation, he joked, "Everyone was looking at us like what do they need a double need for because they're old. We loved it."

Aside from the sex lives of strangers, I also learned that there was a lot of controversy about arsenic wallpaper.

That arsenic was used for taxidermy. That it made a good embalming fluid. That is was the preferred method of women.

Wait, what?

Something about women being devious, women looking for less violent ways to off someone.

John, a self-proclaimed Italian-American made a crack about the Borgia/poison connection resulting in a derogatory term, "Italianating," which meant poisoning.

Clearly those were less politically correct times.

By the time he finished speaking, I felt infinitely wiser in the ways of arsenic, although there seems to be a fine line between taking daily arsenic to develop an immunity and slowly poisoning someone with arsenic to prevent detection.

To keep the birthday motif going, our next stop was Acacia for dinner.

The bar was all but empty despite plenty of tables full and we took up positions at the end of it.

It helps having a Tuesday birthday and we took advantage of half priced wine with a bottle of Domaine de la  Gucihard, continuing the Cotes du Rhone theme.

Since I hadn't been in for a while the menu had lots of new temptations to try, but the immediate need was the country fried sweetbreads on a waffle with chipotle maple syrup.

I'd started the day with pancakes and bacon and I'd come full circle.

So I ordered those, along with an anchovy starter and our server's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Those are the two best," he gushed, validating our dive into the flavor pool.

Next came white anchovies laid across grilled marinated radicchio and romaine, Fourme D'ambert and pine nuts, all bound in a creamy garlic dressing that would have distracted even the most resistant anchovy-hater.

And isn't that the thing about Acacia?

I don't care how long I go between visits (granted, it's never all that long), whether it's a to-go lunch or  dinner, I am always impressed with my food at Acacia.

And while I would have gone with one of the fish offerings (red snapper, grouper, flounder), the birthday celebrant wanted bacon-wrapped apple-stuffed duck over smoked Gouda polenta, brussels sprouts and lingonberry jus.

Let's all acknowledge that duck doesn't need to be wrapped in anything to taste rich, so the bacon was just icing on the birthday cake.

The creamy grits and savory, toothsome sprouts would have been a fine vegetarian meal on their own.

But not for us; we dipped bites of duck and pig in the lingonberry jus (feeling very Swedish) to ensure we didn't miss a single layer of flavor available.

This was shaping up to be a mighty fine birthday dinner and it wasn't even mine.

For our last course, we went with glasses of Roederer Champagne and what the menu called French toast.

Acacia's version had Frangelico brioche, Nutella, mascarpone gelato and espresso anglaise, making for a rich dessert as befitting a rich meal.

I think I saw the Aquarian's eyes roll back in his head as we finished the last of the Cotes du Rhone.

Maybe that's just what happens when the moon is in the seventh house.

Or when the arsenic finally kicks in.