Lunching with Scum at The Empress

Fully two weeks ago, I ran into a friend and we talked about getting together for lunch that week. I heard nothing from him, so I finally took the bull by the e-mail horns.

Me: Whatever happened to us having lunch soon? Hmmm?
Him: Why, yes, I am scum. This scum has to eat today, though, if a certain dreamboat would like to accompany him.

And although I had already scheduled a noon interview, I agreed to a late lunch with said scum at The Empress. Who can resist such wit, especially apropos of nothing?

Because we got such a late start, there was only one other customer when we arrived. But the music mix was good and just the right volume and our front booth gave us a great view of passers-by and the sunny blue sky.

We were both having a tough time deciding what to eat; he was trying to decide between breakfast and lunch and I was trying to decide between a big salad and beef brisket, something my friend loves as much as I do.

So the decision was made for us when our server informed us that the beef brisket had just come out of the oven this morning. Sold.

But first we started with half salads, he with the grilled Romaine and me with the chopped arugula, aged Fontina, garbanzo beans, sunflower seeds and red wine vinaigrette with seared rare ahi tuna. We then shared the smoked beef brisket panini with horseradish cheddar and dill aioli on sourdough bread.

It was my first panini at The Empress, so I had no idea that it would be the size of a book; we were very glad we had already decided to share it since no one needs a sandwich that large if they're planning to have salad first and dessert after. And we had and we were.

The punch of the horseradish was slow to show itself, but terrific when it did, especially in tandem with the tender brisket. As we ate, we talked about guests who drink all your liquor, art openings with the black-clad crowds and the problems of keeping cilantro fresh in the fridge.

When we were asked if we wanted dessert, we both nodded, surprising owner Melissa, who clearly wasn't expecting two people who'd just eaten so much to want more. Please, the two of us would start with dessert if it were socially acceptable.

I've enjoyed the Empress' chocolate soup and we've both shared the chili and ginger-infused chocolate pate, which meant that we had to try something different today, namely the chocolate and strawberry crepes.

The chocolate filling was magnificent, as rich as a ganache, the strawberries abundant and all contained by a crispy crepe. My friend made embarrassingly loud sounds of satisfaction as he ate his half.

I was amazed that the staff even needed to ask if we were enjoying our dessert. You don't think he makes these sounds for nothing, do you, people? I mean, maybe he makes them at other times, although I only hear them when we're eating, but they clearly indicate great pleasure.

They whisked away the licked-clean plate and we sat chatting about the fullness of my dance card. An old Blondie song came on and my friend began softly singing along with a big smile on his face. I've never seen the scum look so satisfied.

So it took longer than it should have to make it happen; the end justified the delay, at least at that moment.