Beach blanket bingo for a couple of days.
Best reason to go to the beach yesterday:
Let the record show that the last bike I was taken for a ride on was a Yamaha.
Most succinct church sign passed:
"If your God is dead, try mine."
For that matter, if your God is (stupid, sneaky, condescending, mean), try mine.
Best business sign seen:
"Bikers serving bikers!" (courtesy American Pie Ice Cream shop)
That way, you know where their hands have been.
Biggest disappointment this morning:
Missing breakfast at the Nags Head Pier.
A tardy arrival meant lunch was the only option, but eating a fried flounder sandwich on the pier with the windows open almost made up for not getting pancakes.
Funniest overheard line at hotel:
Biker girl: "How long does the bar stay open?"
Hotel clerk: "As long as you're drinking."
No way that bar beat a balcony overlooking the ocean with a bottle of King Family Viognier.
Closet thing to religion:
Flat on the sand, looking up at a late afternoon blue sky and partial moon with not a soul in sight on the beach.
Only heathens say things like that.
Most flavorful Sunday dish (courtesy Ocean Boulevard):
Octopus confit over arugula, olive salad, peperoncini, preserved lemon zest and (rectangular!) chickpea fritter.
Haven't you heard? Rectangular fritters have more crunchy outside parts than round ones.
Least likely thing to see on a beach walk:
Three people pulling organs from a huge, dead overturned sea turtle.
Suspicious as it looked (they're a protected species), the volunteer said it had washed up with its head missing. Being scientific types, they had then measured the parts, returned them to the carcass and left it by the shore to be pulled out to sea.
Finest Monday pig (courtesy Red Sky Cafe):
Pork in pastry (citrus-roasted pulled pork in wood-fired pastry with southern slaw finished with Wasabi-spiked Thai barbecue drizzle).
Hello sweet pig, I say when it arrives. "That's what the servers call it," the bartender says, amazed. "You must have the inside scoop." No, I just recognize sweet pig when I taste it.
Most important rule of thumb on a beach weekend:
Never ask anyone to do something you wouldn't do yourself.
It's an ocean, You're bound to get wet.
Least likely thing to happen on a beach holiday:
Dancing to Foreigner to celebrate a wedding anniversary and yet I know it's happened.
But if you're not at the ocean to listen to the surf and get wet, you may as well leave your beach towel at home.