Keep Your Smarmy Messages to Yourself

I am an atypical Facebook user. I only have friends I see in my real life. There are no long-lost elementary school buddies, no friends of friends, no forgotten neighbors. And yet, that doesn't prevent me from hearing from crazies.

For example, these actual Facebook messages from a stranger:

Joe:
Hi. Quite a stimulating picture. You're in Richmond?

Me:
Do I know you?

Joe:
Don't think so but I was FB surfing and saw your picture. As I said, found it stimulating, so said hi. Native Richmonder here. Most of my info is on my profile.

Me:
You surf for pictures you like?

Joe:
I sometimes search a look on pages by putting a subject and Richmond, VA in. I think I hit a page where you must have added as something you like. And I saw the picture in the box that shows people that are linked to that page.
Yes, very very nice.
I'd say the shape of your legs and the heels were the most stimulating. The stockings are interesting for sure. Obviously you're quite unique. And from your music tastes probably 20 something...?

Me:
(No response)

Joe:
Just FYI, if say the sexy librarian thing would definitely be one of my favorites. I am very open-minded, however and very adventurous. Appreciate feminine and intelligent women...and nice legs, heels, nice nails, etc...Are some of my very favorite things!

Me:
(blocking user)

Feminine? Please.

And sleazy approach aside, he had the wrong girl pegged if he thought for a moment that I would be the nice nail type. As if.