Nothin' Like a Dame

Where better to go after a positively exhausting week than Bali Ha'i?

Despite the fact that my train wasn't getting in until almost 6:30 and despite that it was late and arrived closer to 7, I managed to get home, unpack, get cleaned up and present myself at the November Theater to meet my date for Virginia Repertory's opening night performance of "South Pacific."

Only a cock-eyed optimist would even attempt such a thing.

On the way over, I ran into a favorite server and his adorable beagle, both recently moved to Jackson Ward. He shared the newcomer's perspective (loves the vibe and touch of grit) and I the more long time resident's (nine years) view, all while scratching those velvet ears (the beagle's, not Michael's).

Opening night meant not only a gold medallion on our programs, but lots of familiar faces - the gallerist and his perky wife, the dancer I hadn't seen in years, and more actors, directors and theater people than should probably be in one place at any given time (you know, in case something happens).

My date was the perfect one because, somehow, some way, he'd never once in his middle-aged life seen "South Pacific." I shouldn't be surprised; I took him to see "Mame" last year and he'd mentioned then it was his first live musical.

Yes, I had myself an enchanted evening virgin.

The last time I'd seen this play live, it had been at the Landmark and no less a magnificent voice than Robert Goulet had played Emile, the handsome French planter. Fabulous as that touring production had been (just hearing him live had been a thrill), it wasn't like seeing talent I knew in classic roles.

I can't convey how satisfying it was to see the multi-talented Matt Shofner as one of the seabees singing "Nothin' Like a Dame." Now that's acting. Just as impressive was Audra Honaker with her impish demeanor and beautiful voice as one of the nurses. Nicole Oberleitner oozed sass and sex whether she was front and center or off to the side striking a pose.

And speaking of the nurses, during the "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair" number, the women wore fabulous '40s-style bathing suits that were the talk of the ladies' room during intermission.

My only observation was that there weren't many '40s-era bodies with hips and curves to go along with those era-appropriate costumes. Let's face it, women's figures just aren't what they used to be.

Ditto wardrobes. In the remember when category, one of the nurse's lines alluded to the fact that the Navy only allowed them to bring two evening gowns overseas with them. How many women today even own one? I do have one long dress but I'm not certain it would qualify as an evening gown.

Waiting in line for the ladies room gave me a chance to check out the framed newspaper articles from the Richmond Times Dispatch, Chicago Tribune and Honolulu State Bulletin hanging in the hallway, all of them actual copies from the war years. Overheard in line: "My nephew is in Wilco. Have you heard of them?" and soon after, "Well, yes, but Paul McCartney's still playing live and he's in his '70s."

So he's not younger than Springtime. Still, I heard it was a terrific show.

As my companion pointed out, it would have also been nice to have some maps hanging there, too, for a geography lesson to go along with the history lesson to clarify all these islands' locations in the play.

I was happy to hear that my date was very much enjoying the play, although still adjusting somewhat to the notion of a musical and actors singing so much of the plot. "It's such a great story!" he raved, admitting he was completely engrossed in the saga as it unfolded.

He was lucky to be seeing such a fine production. Both leads, Branch Fields and Stacey Cabel, were spot-on as the lovers from different sides of the world. Her Arkansas accent came and went occasionally but his French one never wavered and his bass voice was the kind that does things to a woman. It didn't hurt the appeal that the sets were so evocative of the South Seas with bamboo screens, palm trees and the illusion of water and sand on the island.

Because he's recently out of a relationship, my date admitted that half the time lately, he's been trying to avoid romantic entertainment. The other half, he's been seeking it out. "I'm just too much of a romantic," he said with a shrug, explaining why he was enjoying this so much.

Join the club, honey bun. From "A Wonderful Guy" to "This Nearly Was Mine," a person inclined to romance could pretty much melt into her seat the entire time.

Let's just say it was some enchanted evening.

A Lucky Cuss

Some enchanted evening, you may meet a stranger who offers to steal from a church.

In this case, the church was First Baptist and the problem was in the ladies' room.

There was no toilet paper.

Not in the stall or in the cabinet or drawers, not anywhere.

As an older woman and I scoured the bathroom, another woman walked in and discovered our dilemma.

"Is this your church?" she asked me, clearly unable to see that I was a heathen.

Nope, I told her.

"Mine, either," she smiled. "So I'll go  to the other bathroom and steal some."

That's just how Christians roll, I guess.

After making do with hand towels, I returned to my seat and my friend only to find the overture had begun.

Tonight was the final  night of the "Classics in the Courtyard" series and the big finale was "South Pacific," which I'd seen as a play twice, but never the movie.

Leave it to Hollywood to cast an Italian as a Frenchman.

I happen to know for a fact that they're not interchangeable, although a Frenchman once told me that if I couldn't find a good man from southern France, an Italian would do.

The movie's credits included thanking the Department of Defense, the Navy and the Pacific Fleet, although even after seeing the film, I still don't know what they did.

I always enjoy the period details of mid-century films, things like the pilot of the plane smoking a cigar in the cockpit as he dodges Japanese gunfire.

"South Pacific" was made in 1958, back when men still called women dames.

Nothing else was built the same
Nothing in the world
As the soft and wavy frame
Like the silhouette of a dame
There is absolutely nothing like the frame of a dame!

And back when we named their hips.

Her hair is blond and curly
Her curls are hurly burly
Her lips are pips
I call her hips "Twirly" and "Whirly"

A scene that got an unexpected response from the crowd dealt with age.

When Lt. Cable.learns Nelly is in love with Emile, he says, "That's hard to believe, sir. They tell me he's a middle-aged man."

The captain, himself past fifty, is not amused, shooting back, "Cable, it is a common mistake for boys of your age and athletic ability to underestimate men who have reached their maturity."

The mostly middle-aged and older audience found this hilarious, laughing out loud throughout the entire scene.

Mitzi Gaynor was adorable as Nelly and her very 1950s body with a tiny waist, curvy hips and thighs would look completely out of place by today's standards.

Curves aside, she knew how to play a small-town girl believably.

I'm as corny as Kansas in August
I'm as normal as blueberry pie
No more a smart little girl with no heart
I have found me a wonderful guy

And her point to Emile for why they were attracted to each other was one that resonated with this viewer.

"We're the same. We appreciate things. We get excited about things. We're not blase."

Like a lot of fifties movies, this one had its share of political incorrectness.

The scene where Bloody Mary brings the lieutenant to a hut to meet her teen-aged daughter smacked of something uncomfortably inappropriate, which the songwriters must have realized, necessitating the cheery  "Happy Talk."

Talk about the boy saying to the girl
Golly, baby, I'm a lucky cuss
Talk about the girl saying to the boy
You and me is lucky to be us

Likewise, only Rodgers and Hammerstein could write a song about how prejudice is learned.

You've got to be taught before it's too late
Before you are six or seven or eight
To hate all the people your relatives hate
You've got to be carefully taught

Because I'd been to two previous musicals of the series, by tonight I was a pro.

I brought candy to share with my girlfriend.

I was charmed rather than annoyed when a bird began flying around behind the screen, casting its shadow on the movie.

And when the explosions began, I immediately knew they were from the fireworks at the Diamond and not nearby gunfire, as some people had worried when it happened the first night.

So I finally got to see "South Pacific" on the big screen and under a nearly full moon.

Some enchanted evening 
Someone may be laughing
You may hear her laughing 
Across a crowded room
And night after night
As strange as it seems
The sound of her laughter
Will sing in your dreams

I must be as normal as blueberry pie to have enjoyed "South Pacific" in all its corny and un-PC glory.

But there's nothing like a dame who relishes a good love story about a middle-aged man.

Or even a cock-eyed optimist who wants to sit in a church courtyard at night with strangers.

She may not be younger than springtime, but she did remember the Milk Duds.