Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.
~Simone Signoret
A close friend had a huge party tonight to celebrate her pirate wedding at the VMFA last weekend. After a stealth ceremony, they wanted to party with 75 or so of their favorite people.
I made the list, although I never actually got the invitation; I like to tease her about that.
The dress code was all white, following the bride's lead, and only a very few people ignored that request.
She wore a tag saying, "Yes, I AM the bride" and another woman (who had been congratulated twice) wore one that said, "No, I am NOT the bride." It was pretty funny.
The lavish party was held in their backyard, a fairyland of multiple level decks, secret gardens, ponds and twinkling lights.
Local flower-decorated tables were scattered throughout the trees and under a canopy. There was a beer bar on one side and a wine bar on the other.
When I arrived, the groom greeted me and then pointed me towards the wine bar. Teasing him for presuming I'd want wine, he laughed."Your life is an open book and she reads it to me after every time she sees you." Gulp.
An Irish band played all evening long under the stars as disparate groups of friends introduced themselves to each other. In most cases, people turned out to have far fewer than six degrees of separation.
Within the first ten minutes I was there, I discovered connections from Floyd Avenue (my former long-time home), Baja Bean (and a former boyfriend) and a former reader (back when I worked in publishing).
Amazing how quickly you can connect the dots in this town.
I was invited to join some guys at the cigar-smoking table (they thought I looked lonely) and they provided all kinds of raucous conversation. As the daughter of a former pipe and cigar smoker, the smell was familiar.
The guest list was all over the place; I chatted with a guy who had just graduated from VCU and with an 80-year old doctor who volunteers at a clinic twice a week because retirement bores him.
The food was outstanding and plentiful with everything from pork loin to smoked salmon ((done by a friend to their smokey taste) to barbecued drumsticks, tabbouleh to bean salad to sesame noodles, Caprese to meats and cheeses to chicken fajitas. I ate some of everything being offfered.
And because everyone knows that the bride and groom never take time to eat at their own celebration, I became the friend who nudged them both into eating, getting her a plate and even making his plate up for him. Eat, you two, you'll need your strength for later (wink, wink).
It was very sweet to see them kissing and dancing and doing all kinds of romantic things I don't usually see them do. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying it for the same reasons.
The beautiful wedding cake was nontraditional carrot cake (with brandy-soaked raisins) and decorated with marzipan vegetables in tribute to their shared love of gardening. They disdained the traditional cake shoving gesture, to their credit.
After dinner and once it was dark, I found a quiet corner from which I could see the dancing area and the band but remain hidden by plants.
It was a cozy spot to savor the magic of the evening. So many white-clad people milling about, disappearing behind bushes and tall plants. Odd pairings coming together to dance and then drift apart. An occasional raindrop felt.
I got to thinking how very satisfying it was to help a long-time friend celebrate having found a partner for the rest of her life. And we did celebrate.
I do foresee a hungover happy couple in the morning, but then that's all part of the "for better or for worse." I have no doubt they'll work through it.
A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.
~Anne Taylor Fleming
Showing posts with label weddings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weddings. Show all posts
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Catching the Bouquet
I'm already on record for acknowledging that I'm not much of a girl. I don't like to shop. Don't care about clothes, shoes or purses. Don't wear jewelry. Hate talking on the phone and don't want, much less expect, guys to call me. Have a very unlady-like appetite.
Hell, I can't even remember to look for a ring on the hand of a guy hitting on me (an oversight I get chided about from female friends on a regular basis) .
But I had such a girly afternoon on this beautiful day and I really enjoyed it, so maybe there's hope for me after all.
My first stop was the Confederate Memorial Chapel next to the VMFA for its Victorian wedding display. As part of the Fine Arts and Flowers event at the museum (and to announce its availability for weddings), the chapel had been decked out as befitting a Civil War-era wedding.
I'd been to the chapel before, so even a heathen like me knew what a handsome scared space it was. With the afternoon sun streaming through the stained glass and clear glass windows, it was downright beautiful.
The charm of it today was the understated floral arrangements, as befitting the late 19th century mode. The custom of the day was to have one central floral arrangement at the front of the church, surrounded by a lot of greenery. And that's it for flowers,
Around the flower arrangement were ferns and, what else (because this is the south), magnolia leaves; sprays of greenery were arranged on the end of the pews and in the center of them with candles on top. Simple, but striking.
A typical bridal bouquet sat at the back of the chapel where the bride would pick it up as she entered. Small, more like a nosegay, and made with white roses, it was heavy in the hand (foreshadowing the weight of commitment, perhaps?).
The chapel guide asked me if I was looking for a place to get married (don't I need to be in a relationship first?) and I answered that I while I wasn't the marrying kind, if I were, then yes, I'm sure it would be a perfectly lovely place to do the deed. Hell, it would be a lovely place for a funeral, if you're into those (I'm not).
When I walked outside, a photography class had set up all around the chapel. But this was no digital bunch; the first camera I saw was Deardorff 8 x 10 format camera, large and striking for how handsome it was. I talked to its users who were desperately trying to figure it out.
A bit further on, my eye was caught by a couple of guys with a rosewood Wista camera, possibly the most beautiful camera I've ever laid eyes on (they told me it also comes in ebony). They invited me to use the dark cloth to drape myself and take a look.
"The image will be backwards and upside down," one warned, just as I was wondering how I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. They moved the camera around so I could see different shots, explaining all the while.
I have several good friends who are photographers and as a huge fan of photography, this impromptu camera class will be something I'll want to brag about to them sooner rather than later.
Okay, so that unexpected camera part wasn't especially girly, but my late lunch stop definitely was. I was meeting a girlfriend on the patio of Cafe Caturra, a place that serves girly food and attracts a girly clientele. Yes, it had been her idea.
The only time I'd been there had been during the winter for the roaring fire, so the patio was a whole new experience. The menu is still pretty much limited to paninis, wraps and salads, but a bottle of wine enjoyed outdoors on a sunny afternoon can make up for a lot of things.
And my tarragon tuna sandwich was good, if uninspired. And the enormous chocolate chip/macadamia nut/coconut cookie that followed was superb, so I really don't have any complaints.
Except for the view, which included table after table of women. There was one guy with a 185-pound bloodhound reading a book and sipping a beer by himself, but he was about the only testosterone within sight. Because I'd only visited in cold weather, I hadn't known how dog-friendly Cafe Caturra's patio was. Clearly it's a dog-owner's destination.
So we sat there for a few hours drinking wine and entertaining theories about why some people are paired up and others not. My friend was in the doldrums about her love life and wanted to girltalk about it, so we blathered away hypothesizing.
Anyone walking by and seeing us would have been fooled into thinking I was just as girly as the next girl.
As if.
Hell, I can't even remember to look for a ring on the hand of a guy hitting on me (an oversight I get chided about from female friends on a regular basis) .
But I had such a girly afternoon on this beautiful day and I really enjoyed it, so maybe there's hope for me after all.
My first stop was the Confederate Memorial Chapel next to the VMFA for its Victorian wedding display. As part of the Fine Arts and Flowers event at the museum (and to announce its availability for weddings), the chapel had been decked out as befitting a Civil War-era wedding.
I'd been to the chapel before, so even a heathen like me knew what a handsome scared space it was. With the afternoon sun streaming through the stained glass and clear glass windows, it was downright beautiful.
The charm of it today was the understated floral arrangements, as befitting the late 19th century mode. The custom of the day was to have one central floral arrangement at the front of the church, surrounded by a lot of greenery. And that's it for flowers,
Around the flower arrangement were ferns and, what else (because this is the south), magnolia leaves; sprays of greenery were arranged on the end of the pews and in the center of them with candles on top. Simple, but striking.
A typical bridal bouquet sat at the back of the chapel where the bride would pick it up as she entered. Small, more like a nosegay, and made with white roses, it was heavy in the hand (foreshadowing the weight of commitment, perhaps?).
The chapel guide asked me if I was looking for a place to get married (don't I need to be in a relationship first?) and I answered that I while I wasn't the marrying kind, if I were, then yes, I'm sure it would be a perfectly lovely place to do the deed. Hell, it would be a lovely place for a funeral, if you're into those (I'm not).
When I walked outside, a photography class had set up all around the chapel. But this was no digital bunch; the first camera I saw was Deardorff 8 x 10 format camera, large and striking for how handsome it was. I talked to its users who were desperately trying to figure it out.
A bit further on, my eye was caught by a couple of guys with a rosewood Wista camera, possibly the most beautiful camera I've ever laid eyes on (they told me it also comes in ebony). They invited me to use the dark cloth to drape myself and take a look.
"The image will be backwards and upside down," one warned, just as I was wondering how I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. They moved the camera around so I could see different shots, explaining all the while.
I have several good friends who are photographers and as a huge fan of photography, this impromptu camera class will be something I'll want to brag about to them sooner rather than later.
Okay, so that unexpected camera part wasn't especially girly, but my late lunch stop definitely was. I was meeting a girlfriend on the patio of Cafe Caturra, a place that serves girly food and attracts a girly clientele. Yes, it had been her idea.
The only time I'd been there had been during the winter for the roaring fire, so the patio was a whole new experience. The menu is still pretty much limited to paninis, wraps and salads, but a bottle of wine enjoyed outdoors on a sunny afternoon can make up for a lot of things.
And my tarragon tuna sandwich was good, if uninspired. And the enormous chocolate chip/macadamia nut/coconut cookie that followed was superb, so I really don't have any complaints.
Except for the view, which included table after table of women. There was one guy with a 185-pound bloodhound reading a book and sipping a beer by himself, but he was about the only testosterone within sight. Because I'd only visited in cold weather, I hadn't known how dog-friendly Cafe Caturra's patio was. Clearly it's a dog-owner's destination.
So we sat there for a few hours drinking wine and entertaining theories about why some people are paired up and others not. My friend was in the doldrums about her love life and wanted to girltalk about it, so we blathered away hypothesizing.
Anyone walking by and seeing us would have been fooled into thinking I was just as girly as the next girl.
As if.
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