With Surfboard on Ceiling

I'm a low maintenance beach guest. Real low.

Give me a bed, preferably private, but I've been known to share a king size bed with my hostess when it was the sole availability.

Because I bring my own breakfast, snacks and sometimes lunch, no preparation for this guest is required. When it comes to dinner, I'm good whether we stay in or go out. Whatever my hosts desire.

As for entertainment, I can sit on the expansive deck on intermittently rainy afternoons like today and talk while being mesmerized by the ocean or set up camp on the sunny beach when everyone wants the full beach experience. A quick SPF50 and I'm good to go.

When everyone's occupied in their own way, I will slip away to walk despite a sky so menacing-looking (albeit artistically) that people are packing up in droves. When I ask a lifeguard what the forecast is, he says they're not allowed to look at their phones while on duty. Okay, but should I keep walking? "If I were you, I'd go inside. Now."

I didn't get far before the sky opened up, but I thought of it as a rain baptism for my new hat.

In my carefree guest mode, I'll listen to whatever music my hosts want to play, even if  it's something I'd never choose. Or something overplayed. Or hackneyed.

The sound of the ocean is enough, for that matter.

I won't get up early and make any noise that might disturb others, but I also won't expect anyone to worry about bothering me. Hosts' prerogative, after all.

You can count on me being a good audience. I'm happy to be the plus one when someone wants to go to the beach or in the ocean and needs reinforcements. Born ready.

Rest assured, I won't say a word when every window in an oceanfront cottage is shut instead of being open to the sea breezes. I may bite my tongue until it bleeds to avoid sharing my opinion about the soundness of such a choice, but it's not my call.

You can even ignore me entirely. Fear not, I will find countless ways to amuse myself while at this oceanfront cottage and I will say goodbye before I drive off.

And always, I will be grateful for the invitation.