In Lincoln's Nose

I pity the fool who thinks they can watch "North by Northwest" on a TV screen - even a big screen - and experience anything like what Hitchcock intended.

Not me. Despite a heat advisory, I walked the two miles to Movieland to see the mystery masterpiece, where I was pleasantly surprised to see that for a change, the Movies and Mimosas screening included more than the usual eight or ten people. Today's audience even included a group carrying mimosas in hand to their seats.

Now here's the problem with people accustomed to watching movies at home: they've either forgotten the rules of public viewing or willfully choose to ignore the on-screen reminders that there is no talking during the film. None.

Either way, it's bad cinema behavior. I don't go to a movie to hear you tell your companions what to look for or how funny you think something is. Gasps, laughter, honest reactions are fine. Discussion, unacceptable, and today's showing was full of people who felt entitled to blather over the brilliance of Hitchcock, Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint.

Somebody needs parental guidance.

Talk abut a stylish movie! Both Cary and Eva Marie managed to look devastatingly fashionable at any given moment, whether making out, hanging off of Mount Rushmore or standing in a pine thicket. I may give Cary even more credit because he did it in just two costume changes, but Eva Marie scored for the gorgeous gloves she wore with every gorgeous dress.

Because the action took place in 1959, some mental adjustment was required on the audience's part. When someone moves into a new apartment and doesn't yet have a phone, you send them a telegram.

Men in train station bathrooms shave with straight razors. Because everyone's not bearded.

The train serves brook trout in the dining car. Nowadays you're lucky to get a bag of chips and a soda.

Hotel rooms have fresh flowers. I'd have loved to live in that world.

Men carry personalized matchbooks. And handkerchiefs.

Buses have open windows. People managed the summer without air conditioning, even in Indiana and South Dakota.

And the Ruskies were still the bad guys. "War is hell, even when it's a cold one."

Women still said things such as, "I never make love on an empty stomach" to men as suave and handsome as Cary Grant.

Too bad. I'd have liked to have seen that on the big screen.