Partner Trumps Assistant

I'm training to get in shape for the upcoming James River Film Festival.

So I figured the best way to do that was to go see my second movie of the day, albeit one 63 years newer than this morning's.

After having seen the previews to "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen" several times, it seemed like a pretty good bet for beautiful scenery, acting talent and romance.

Besides, you can't go wrong with a film shot partly in the wilds of Scotland

Apparently, atmospheric castles owned by Middle Eastern sheiks are the ideal place for unsuspecting Londoners to start falling in love.

The story of a filthy rich but empathetic sheik who wants to bring sport fishing to the desert was more about faith than fishing.

But  that's faith in its broadest definition and not merely in terms of organized religion.

I related to Ewan McGregor's character, who observed, "I don't know anyone who goes to church anymore. On Sundays, we go to Target."

That's a different sort of religion, I think.

Kristin Scott Thomas had the funniest lines as the press secretary to the Prime Minister, saying, "Men like that are a species."

The romance unfolded exquisitely slowly given the complications of him having a wife (after they finish lovemaking, the wife says, "There, that should do you for a while." Yikes!) and her having a recently deployed boyfriend (who is presumed M.I.A. in Afghanistan after their brief a three-week courtship).

Once local terrorists have all but destroyed the dam and presumably the 10,000 shipped-in salmon, it looks like the futility of the whole project is finally clear.

But no, a lone salmon is spotted jumping in the water and the soldier boyfriend sees that she's in love with Ewan and departs.

Next thing you know Ewan's talking about giving the project another try on a smaller scale, working hand in hand with the locals and finally achieving the impossible, fishing in the desert.

She asks if he'll be needing an assistant and once he realizes what she means, he says no, he wants a partner.

And when a guy says "partner" with that look in his eye, you know what he means.

Cut to hand-holding shot reflected in the rippling, fish-filled waters of the dam.

Because nothing says true love like creatures willing to move against the tide to successfully mate.

The fact is, fish or female, that's what we call a romance.

Music swells. Fade out.