Monday, November 19, 2012

Thankful for All That Jazz

What am I thankful for?

I am thankful for the Ghost Light Afterparty and their first GLAPS-giving.

I am thankful when the host, Matt, comes onstage in a a feathered breast plate and golden ankle-wraps with four-inch heels.

I am thankful when co-host Maggie is dressed as a slutty Pilgrim, right down to the buckles on her shoes.

I am thankful when musical guest Grey Garrett is dressed in braids and a brown pashima, fashioned to look like Pocahontas (or poke-a-hot-ass, as one guest observed).

I'm even thankful when the background for the evening is a hot pink set with silver glitter letters and stars spelling out, "Whoop-Dee-Do!," the name of Richmond Triangle Players' newest show.

You can never go wrong with silver lame curtains, at least at GLAP.

Reminding us that the first song of the night is always tragic because he sings it, Matt launched into "I'm Like a Bird."

The big news to be thankful for was that a documentary is being made about the GLAP, so all god's children can experience the wonder that is the GLAP without staying up until 1 a.m. on a Sunday night.

Not there's anything woring with that.

Garrett, currently starring in the Irving Berlin-ful "I Love a Piano" shared her exquisite voice by singing a smoldering version of "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered."

Next up was Kent, who complained that his contract stipulated he never has to go on after a performer like Garrett, before doing "But I'm Here," and changing the lyrics to fit RVA.

"I been through Westover Hills and I'm here."

Piano whiz Ben got up to play and sing, asking, "You want a funny song or a Billy Joel?"

"What's the difference?" a nearby audience member yelled before we heard a song about that magic kingdom in the sky.

You know the one.

David got up, saying he was going to use some of his acting in his song, a very good thing since I've seen his acting and it always impresses me.

The song may have been from "Les Miz" but the important thing was that it finished with jazz hands.

"Thank you very much," he said. "I've never sung that outside my shower."

I was thankful for the Thanksgiving band, a motley crew on tambourine, shaker balls and homemade bongos.

Host Matt struck a particularly fetching sitting pose (as he is wont to do), sliding his gold-shod feet and legs to the side (the better to display them?) and bongo-ing away.

Maggie did "Big Yellow Taxi" with the Thanksgiving band.

The 20 questions with Grey Garret answering Matt's questions yielded some hysterical answers.

Her fave shower song? "Oklahoma."

Fave car song? "Anything by Diana Ross," setting off empathetic oohs from the crowd.

A choice of Maggie or Matt had her leaning in and smiling to coo Matt's name at him.

Dream date? "We're gonna do it."

She described theater as "loud, smiling, addictive" and sex as "terrible, disappointing and no."

"I'm sorry!" yelled a wiseass in the audience when she said that.

Grey did an amazing version of Berlin's "Supper Time," causing the audience to go crazy and Matt to say, "Alright, folks. That's it. We're done."

It's hard to beat Irving Berlin tunes and a great voice.

God knows I was thankful when Evan abandoned his bartending duties to take the keyboard and belt out "Bad Touch" with the mic between his legs.

You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals
So let's do it like they do it on the discovery channel

The requisite Mad Lib with smutty fill-ins benefited from using the song "The Man That Got Away," although some of the more ribald lyrics caused Grey to pause to regain her composure.

I'm thankful that my adjective made it into the Mad Lib version.

"It's all a juicy game."

That was my juicy.

"A one gangbang woman looking for the twat-wattle that got away."

Hey, I didn't say I was thankful for high brow entertainment, did I?

Marissa, a self-proclaimed "Italian from Buffalo" who'd recently gone through a bad breakup, played guitar and sang "Crazy."

Things got very Disney after a while with Molly doing "Beauty and the Beat" in her best Angela Lansbury imitation and Ben calling out the dialog ("From the original Broadway recording!" he joked).

By this time, Maggie's pilgrim ensemble had morphed into a 90s riot grrrl with a red plaid shirt, combat boots and her short black tulle skirt.

Childhood continued with Ben and Audra doing "A Whole New World" and the audience singing along like they were still in elementary school.

Grey did "Colors of the Wind" while Molly lip-synched along with her onstage and the audience cheered and clapped.

"A team of people made that happen," Grey said at the end, laughing.

When Sarah got up to sing, she asked Matt if she should use the mic and he was cavalier.

"It's up to you," he said, marching off, drink in hand. "Make your own adventure.'

Drag queen Stormy Sanders came onstage for Daniel to sing "Wonderwall" and Matt to exhort, "Yea, you better rock that lighter in the back row!"

The fabulous finish was "Hit Me Baby One More Time" which started as a small thing and grew as people sought to join the big finale.

Flannel-clad Maggie grabbed a tambourine. Matt danced his non-existent ass off. David took a flying leap up to jump onstage. Evan belted.

I'm thankful people make their own adventures at GLAP.

I's even go so far as to say it wouldn't be GLAPS-giving without it.

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